I’m learning….

a lot in this new indie author/editor/publisher life I’m trying so desperately to fit into. Perhaps I’m not molded in a way that I need to be…yet.

Critics, judgment, feedback, reviews, financial gain, promoting…… all of that has somehow begun to take over my love of writing. So much so that for the past week I’ve done little to no writing whatsoever, which is unlike me. Normally I’m rushing the kids to the bus before their shoelaces are even tied and I’m in my pajamas half of the day, whittling away at the keyboard.  The luster has gone and I don’t like it.

I’ve been in a funk for two days, wondering why more people don’t like my post on social media, or why no one is responding to really good promotional deals, etc. After much thought and careful deliberation, I’ve decided that NONE of that is why I started writing in the first place. I started writing for me. Not that I don’t care about the readers because I do. There’d be no ‘book business’ without them. I’m appreciative that they have each taken the time to read my novel and I’m respectful and thankful that the feedback so far has all been positive.

I started writing ten years ago when I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I was just 26 at the time, with two small babies. It was devastating and it was a death sentence. (or so I thought) Ten years later and I’m still kicking so I figure that has to count for something. Anyhow, I started writing for me. At first it was goodbye letters to my husband and my children, for that ‘someday’ when I wouldn’t be here anymore. Then it was just random thoughts that I would jot down or my health journal I would keep for my doctors. After I while I became to rely on writing, if nothing more than to just release the stress I was under. Soon I started writing stories, many of which I still have stuffed in a box for a rainy day. That was a time when writing wasn’t so much pressure. It wasn’t a job or a popularity contest. Writing was simply a passion.

Someone asked me the other day what advice I could give. They were just starting to write their own novel and they were worried about all the details of marketing and promoting. The only advice I could give them was to be patient. Patient with the reader, patient with the process, and patient with themselves. I don’t have all the answers as I am very new to all of this, but I know one thing for sure. The story will always be better, I will always be better, if I remember why I started writing in the first place.

One thought on “I’m learning….

  1. I am amazed at how much you have accomplished in so little time with so much going against you. Maybe it is appropriate to compare your frustration to something I heard a long, long time ago; something that I have to remind myself often. It is now how far we have come in a week or a month but how far we have come in a year, five years and ten years. I think we all forget that time passes so quickly and as humans we sometimes expect too much and too soon. But when you get to be my age and look back it is amazing all that has happened. Especially when I don’t feel my age! I guess the moral of the story is to enjoy your writing and not put too much pressure on yourself. It will come, like “If you build it they will come”. Rome wasn’t built in a day or so I’ve heard.

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