Change….

“What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same? I doubt you’d be happy, so why are you so afraid of change?” – Karen Salmansohn

I’ve never really thought about this, but today and especially with the recent struggles in my personal and professional life, it makes complete and total sense. The answer to the first question would be NO. I definitely wouldn’t be happy. The answer to the second question is I DON’T KNOW. I think both are worth investigating.

The thought of change isn’t all that uncomfortable for me. I actually like change; I think it helps us to further ourselves into a world of endless possibilities. I think we eventually mature and evolve into better people when we take that initial step. So no, it isn’t directly the “change” at all; it’s not knowing what’s on the other side of the change that is debilitating. It cripples me with fears of ‘what-ifs’ and self-doubt, and that’s where I feel stuck. I feel that no matter how bad my circumstances may be, it can’t possibly be as bad as choosing wrong. And isn’t that just the sucky part? Staying where you know you’ll be unhappy and miserable just because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side? Oh, but what if it is? There’s that pesky, unwelcome “what-if” again.

I look at both sides, trying to be as objective as I possibly can. On one hand, things are drastically declining. Spinning out of control. Ever feel like you’re standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of your lungs, and you’re completely invisible? Yeah, me too, and it’s frustrating as hell. No one’s listening, and you’ve been silent for so long that people begin to think that’s just who you are. That nothing is wrong, even though you are being ripped apart from the inside out. It’s slow and torturous, but that’s the life you’ve learned to accept. On the other hand, you feel like making certain changes are beneficial in so many ways. Things have to change, or the endless roller coaster you’ve been on will eventually fall from the tracks. But it’s the unknown that stops us. That makes us believe we can continue to push through, keeping our feelings buried so deep that they’ll never see the light of day. But…. that’s impossible. It will gnaw at you until you break; until you just simply cannot take anymore, and then what’s left? Nothing. You become a shell of the fabulous person you once were, never to be recognized again, and that’s the problem.

Change doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Sure there will be days when you question your decisions, and yes, there surely will be days where you mentally scold yourself. However, that cannot be as bad as staying in the same place for years and years, knowing what the end result will be. I know that I post a lot of things about courage and determination: putting one foot in front of the other and trying, because failure is only a product of doing nothing. And I’ll admit I’m a hypocrite for not following my own advice sometimes. Hopefully that will rectify itself one day when I, too, have had enough.

Until then friends, really think about where you are in life. You only get once chance: one chance to live the life you want and the life you deserve. Whether it be relationships, your job, your religion, whatever the case may be; don’t waste what time God has given you on this earth, only to look back and realize how much time you’ve wasted standing in the same place for so long. Temporary heartbreak and difficult times won’t last forever. Staying somewhere that doesn’t bring you happiness will.

Have a blessed Friday and a wonderful weekend!

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